The truth is that almost everyone will have to deal with cutting off toxic people from their lives at some point. Whether it’s your partner, a negative family member, a friend who doesn’t respect your time, or a manipulative supervisor, it’s inevitable. The important thing is to know when to walk away from toxic relationships in your life.
know when to walk away
It’s awful to think that these kinds of people exist, to begin with, but unfortunately, they do, and they’re everywhere. Toxic people are individuals that make you feel uncomfortable whenever they are in your presence. It’s as if their only purpose is to embarrass you, distract you, and obstruct your achievement and happiness.
Barrie Sueskind, a relationship therapist in Los Angeles, discusses several toxic people traits, which may be:
- self-absorption or self-centeredness
- manipulation and other emotional abuse
- dishonesty and deceit
- difficulty offering compassion to others
- a tendency to create drama or conflict
Cutting off toxic people is never easy, but if you know someone who demonstrates any of these traits, you may want to cut them out of your life or, at the very least, limit your interactions with them. It is not going to be easy. It is, nevertheless, in your best interest.
Cutting off toxic people from your life
So, what are the best ways to cut off toxic people from your life?
#1 Distance Yourself
If at all possible, you might want to end the relationship entirely. That entails breaking off all communication with this person.
However, realistically this is not always possible. So, if you don’t want to go that far, especially if it’s a family member, attempt to create some distance between you and them.
Perhaps unfollowing them on social media or only seeing them once or twice a year might be a good idea, or whatever works for you. If they ask to spend more time with you, explain that you have other commitments and are unavailable.
If they’re someone from your workplace, try to avoid crossing paths with this person, but not in an obvious way that will add to the drama. For example, if you ask to switch offices or ask to be transferred to a new team.
Take advantage of the opportunity to remove toxic people as much as possible.
#2 Establish Boundaries
If you can’t completely walk away from this toxic person, especially if it’s a family member, your best option may be to set boundaries.
No one has the right to treat you like a child, disregard your time, or abuse you mentally, spiritually, or physically. Speak up for yourself and let them know how you want them to treat you. And know that when you need to say no, you don’t have to give a reason.
The important thing is to be upfront about your intentions and stick to the boundaries you’ve set.
Also, it’s important to remember that it’s not your duty to always be their shoulder to cry on and, if need be, direct them to an appropriate professional.
#3 Own Your Power
You don’t have to let people walk over you or mistreat you.
For example, if the toxic person is at your workplace and the situation falls under HR regulations, you have the option to report the person. Another option is to ignore them completely. If, on the other hand, they are your superior, and you have no other choice, keep in mind that you’re not trapped in your employment. You have the option to resign. You’ll be able to find another job.
On the other hand, if you’re in a toxic relationship, you may choose to leave. If this person is causing you more harm than good, it is not a healthy environment in which to live. You can go and begin a new, happy, and healthy life away from the drama.
The critical thing to remember is that you are NOT powerless. Know when to walk away and own your power!
“We teach people how to treat us”
Dr Phil
#4 It’s Usually Not About You
It’s important to remember that when someone misbehaves, it’s almost always about them, not the people they mistreat. It doesn’t matter who you are; it’s not personal. It has nothing to do with your worth or personality.
So try not to take it too personally and move on with your life. Please don’t give them any weight.
#5 Talk to someone
It’s always helpful to talk to someone you trust. They would be able to give you the support you need.
Furthermore, whether you are setting healthy boundaries or cutting ties with this toxic person, you are still ending a relationship. As a result, you will have mixed feelings. Thus, it would be advisable if you could contact your support system or a trusted health professional to help you deal with these emotions.
#6 Take Care of Yourself
Always put yourself first! Maybe the person in question “desperately needs” your assistance whenever you see them. This means that you’re in a one-way relationship with them; you’re constantly giving, and they’re always taking. That is not how any relationship should be.
Besides that, when you’ve been dealing with toxic people for a long time, feeling disconnected from yourself and lost in life is common.
You may love this person, but you should not offer support at the expense of your health. Also, you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.
You could try the following self-care tools:
- Practice Daily Self-Care – It’s unhealthy to constantly worry and stress about this person and his/her situation. To deal with this, make sure you put it behind you when you get home so you can continue to care for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle. If you live with this toxic person, make sure you set aside time in your day to focus on yourself. Use this time to do something that feels good to you and will help you unwind.
- Meditate and Journal – Take time each day to meditate and journal to express your feelings and enable your mind to transition from stress to a happy life.
- Practice Positivity – It may seem bizarre, but some toxic people are only interested in making you act up. In reaction to the person’s harmful behavior, practice giving positive responses anytime you’re around them. They might just give up.
Quotes on toxic people
- “If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behavior.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
- “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” — Deborah Reber
- “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” — Will Smith
- “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” — Dr. Steve Maraboli
- “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” — Anthony Robbins
- “Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” – Hussein Nishah
- “How you choose to feel today should not be dependent on others.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
- “Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” — Roy Bennett
- “We teach people how to treat us.” – Dr. Phil
- “People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hasen
Final thoughts – know when to walk away
The best way to deal with these situations is to know when to walk away from toxic people. However, getting rid of toxic people is not easy and not always possible, especially when it comes to a family member.
If you have to spend time with someone who engages in toxic conduct, keep in mind that it is neither your fault nor your obligation. They must understand what you’re not willing to put up with and respect your boundaries.
You may love this person, but you should not offer support at the expense of your health. Also, you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. Strength is to know when to walk away.
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