Positive self-loving affirmations can help you shift your mindset and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts to live a better life.
‘Change your beliefs, change your life.’
If you are someone who is constantly engaging in negative self-talk, this article is for you! We’ll go over how you can rewire your thinking pattern and start living the life you’ve always wanted.
What better way to start the new year than with some self-love? The beginning of a new year is always a time for reflection. Everyone is focused on setting new goals and identifying what they need to change in order to become a better version of themselves.
My advice to you is to start by examining your inner self-talk.
Is your inner self-talk always critical and negative? If your answer is yes (as it is for the vast majority of us), I recommend downloading this FREE Worksheet to help you shift your narrative. Because until you do, you will be unable to experience the best version of yourself and the inner peace you seek.
How to change your inner self-talk?
The most effective way to change your self-talk is to turn your negative limiting beliefs into a positive statement – a positive self-loving affirmation.
Positive self-loving affirmations are encouraged by psychologists, life coaches, business coaches, self-help books, etc. And so, a lot of people are becoming more familiar with this practice. However, if you’ve never practiced them before, the concept might seem a little bit odd.
At first, you might feel silly telling yourself how beautiful, amazing, talented, and capable you are when you don’t even believe it. And, if you’re anything like me, a little skeptic, you would need to know how and why this practice of positive self-loving affirmations works.
Don’t worry! This is not related to anything woo-woo. There is enough neuroscience and genuine theory behind this practice.
This article will discuss what positive affirmations are, their benefits, how to effectively write affirmations, and how positive self-loving affirmations can help you create positive changes in your life.
So let’s get started!
“We need to understand how our minds work so we can work our minds better.”– JIM KWIK
How does our mind work?
First, let us gain a basic understanding of how our minds function. According to an article published by Medium:
“In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article showing that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative, and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.”
This means that our mind tends to focus on the negative, and most of our thoughts are the same thoughts we had yesterday. So we have the same constant conversation with ourselves every day.
Secondly, according to another research, our mind does not distinguish between thoughts about things we wish to happen and thoughts of things that did happen. So, basically, our mind is programmed to fulfill whatever content it hears the most.
Lastly, our mind is ALWAYS eavesdropping on our self-talk, both positive and negative.
So let’s summarize the above:
- 80% of our thoughts are negative, and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before;
- our mind is always listening to our self-talk, but tends to concentrate more on the negative; and
- Lastly, our brain does not distinguish between thoughts we think happened and thoughts of things that did happen.
So, what does this mean?
In other words, we keep thinking the same negative thoughts/limiting beliefs (many of which are just in our heads). Not only that, our mind does not distinguish between what is just in our heads and what is real, so those negative thoughts (even if they are not true) become a belief and, as a result, part of our reality.
Automatic Negative Thoughts
According to Dr. Daniel Amen, author of Use Your Brain to Change Your Age, negative thoughts lead your brain to generate chemicals that affect every cell in your body, making you feel bad. Similarly, when you think joyful and positive thoughts, your brain produces chemicals that make you feel good.
Your thought patterns may also have long-term consequences. A brain imaging study in Alzheimer’s & Dementia found that repetitive negative thinking may encourage the accumulation of toxic deposits seen in the brains of persons with Alzheimer’s disease and may increase the likelihood of Dementia.
Examples of subconscious negative limiting beliefs:
- “He will never go out with me; I’m out of his league.”
- “That only happens to a small percentage of people, and that’s not me.“
- “I will never be able to get that promotion; I am not that smart.”
- “I’m not good at organizing things; I’m too clumsy.”
- “He won’t notice me; I’m not pretty.”
- “I will never be able to have my own business; I’m not good enough.”
- “Nobody will ever love me.”
- “I am broken.”
Did you ever say or think any of these statements or anything related? I know I did!
Dr. Amen explains in his book that just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true. Thoughts can be deceiving. They lie a lot, and it’s your unquestioned and uninvestigated thoughts that keep you unhappy.
If you don’t challenge or correct your false beliefs, you’ll believe them and act as if they were true. Hence, it’s crucial to try to challenge your beliefs.
For instance, if you believe you are incapable of accomplishing anything:
- What makes you think that? Is it really true?
- Didn’t your boss just compliment you on a job well done on your project?
- Don’t you have a wonderful relationship that you work hard to grow?
- Didn’t you just graduate?
Allowing yourself to believe that every thought you have is the truth is a recipe for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and long-term sadness.
Also, you don’t even have to have all of these ‘major’ accomplishments. Waking up and getting out of bed is also a significant accomplishment.
After challenging your false beliefs, the next step is to learn to replace your automatic negative thoughts with more beneficial ones that provide you with a more accurate and balanced view of any situation. If adopted and practiced well, this technique has the potential to transform your life completely.
So, how do we stop this self-sabotaging conversation?
We use Positive Self Loving Affirmations.
What exactly are self-loving affirmations?
Thankfully, if used correctly, positive affirmations are as simple to describe as they are to use (which I’ll explain in a moment). Simply put, affirmations are positive phrases used to help you cope with difficult emotions and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts.
We have something called the reticular activating system (RAS) in our brain. What happens is that when you repeat something over and over, this section of your brain wakes up and takes focus. Your RAS immediately concludes that you wouldn’t repeat these statements unless they were significant. As a result, your brain prioritizes this data.
The problem is that, as previously stated, we tend to focus on the negative, so we spend the majority of our time thinking and repeating negative thoughts in our heads. When you speak to yourself out loud or silently in your head, you are validating something. You’re making a statement – an affirmation (whether you know it or not). So, unconsciously, we’re telling our brain via our RAS that these negative thoughts and limiting beliefs are essential data.
That is why you must be highly cautious about what you tell yourself, whether aloud or silently, through your inner voice. You already state affirmations all the time; you simply don’t realize it.
The good news is that we can use this to our advantage by repeating positive self-loving affirmations, and our brain will eventually prioritize these statements and treat them as essential data.
Definition of Self-Loving Affirmations
Thus to summarize, if you’re seeking a definition, positive self-loving affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to instill a positive belief in your subconscious mind.
Our subconscious mind works tirelessly and quietly in the background while we’re sleeping, working, or playing to solve our challenges and achieve our objectives. Hence, since your subconscious works relentlessly to make your statements (affirmations) a reality, doesn’t it make more sense to make them positive rather than negative?
Benefits of positive self-loving affirmations
There are numerous advantages to repeating positive self-loving affirmations on a daily basis. The first is that positive affirmations promote self-development. Repeating self-loving affirmations will help you change your thought patterns and mental attitudes. When combined with honest self-awareness and meaningful action measures, positive affirmations can become a powerful tool for behavioral improvement.
As a result, consistently repeating self-loving affirmations can help rewire the subconscious mind to alleviate negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. Indeed, it will aid in replacing the “I can’t” with “I can” and the uncertainties and concerns with confidence and clarity.
Also, during a study, it was found that repeating self-loving affirmations effectively removed the adverse effects of chronic stress on problem-solving performance, with chronically stressed self-affirmed participants performing at the same level as those with low chronic stress levels under pressure.
So, if you constantly find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, you may use daily positive affirmations to mitigate these subconscious beliefs and substitute them with more constructive ones.
Do self-loving affirmations work?
In the beginning, I promised you that this is not a woo-woo thing, and all of this is backed up by science, so let us dive quickly into what recent data has revealed.
It also continues to emphasize the importance of the quality of our thoughts. If every thought we have impacts our reality and perception of the world, we should be very mindful of the quality of our thoughts.
This is the power of affirmations: they use cognitive bias to your advantage. When you repeat your daily self-loving affirmations, you show your brain a new way of thinking about your reality.
Remember, in the beginning, we said that our mind could not distinguish between thoughts we think happened and thoughts of things that did happen. Thus, imagining yourself doing something, such as nailing a nerve-racking presentation or overcoming your fear of heights by skydiving, stimulates much of the same brain neurons as actually witnessing these experiences would.
So what this means is that by regularly repeating your daily positive self-loving affirmations, you are training your mind to accept and believe these statements as facts. That alters the way the brain processes information, causing you to think and see things differently until your reality has shifted so dramatically that you get what you affirmed.
When you really believe you can accomplish something, your actions will always reflect that belief.
You can use this to your advantage.
For instance, let’s say you have a big presentation coming up and you’re feeling very anxious about it, and you’re constantly thinking:
“I’m so terrible at delivering presentations, and there’s no way I could speak in front of all those people. Of course, they will think I’m stupid. I should just quit.”
In this case, you might replace this negative thought with a positive affirmation:
“I have been doing this work for so long. I have all the necessary skills and experience to deliver this presentation. Otherwise, if my boss didn’t think I could do it, he wouldn’t have asked me. I got this!”
If you continuously repeat this affirmation, your mind will start believing you’re completely capable of doing this and would feel calmer before your presentation. It can also help you prevent self-sabotaging thoughts or actions that might jeopardize your performance.
>>Read more: Career Affirmations: How To Overcome Career Setbacks
Suppose, for instance, you frequently indulge in body shaming and negative self-talk. In that case, you may practice positive body affirmations to counteract these subconscious thoughts and replace them with more constructive ones.
Let’s say you are at an event, but all you can think about is comparing yourself to the other women. And all you could think of is:
“I’m not pretty compared to them.” “Look at my thighs in this dress.” “I don’t have a flat tummy.” “My hips look wide.” etc., etc.
Suddenly you start feeling down and just want to go home. Try to replace these negative thoughts with the following affirmations:
“Every female body is unique and beautiful in its own way”. I am grateful for my body and for all it does for me. I am beautiful just the way I am.”
Try to repeat them every time a negative thought pop-up. Over time you will get better at it.
How can I use self loving affirmations effectively?
Neuroplasticity, or your brain’s ability to change and adapt to different circumstances throughout your life, helps us understand not only what makes affirmations work but how to make them more effective.
Nonetheless, affirmations are just a tool; they’re not magic. Like other tools, their effectiveness is generally determined by how you use them.
Likewise, creating your own self-loving affirmations depending on your needs and circumstances will ensure that you choose affirmations that will benefit you.
How to write self-loving daily affirmations
Here are 6 tips for creating and using Daily Positive Self Loving Affirmations more efficiently:
#1. Set them in the present
It is normal for us to express our aspirations for the future in the future tense, “I want to,” “I’m going to,” and “I will.” However, our subconscious mind only understands the present tense.
So, write and utter your affirmation as if it is already happening. That makes it easier for you to believe the statement is correct right now. If you’re concerned about an upcoming interview, say something like:
“I am well-prepared, knowledgeable, and experienced, and I can conduct a good interview.”
Even though affirmations can seem to function as goals, they don’t. A goal is always something you would strive for in the future. On the other hand, daily positive self-loving affirmations boost your self-esteem by reminding you of what you can improve and become right now.
Acting as though you’ve already succeeded will help you accelerate the change.
#2. When possible, start with the words “I am.”
Positive affirmations influence both the conscious and subconscious minds to overcome unhealthy beliefs and negative thought patterns. Positive self-loving affirmations, such as an “I am” affirmation, will motivate and empower you to think and behave in consistent ways with your vision and objectives.
Thus, when possible, start with the words “I am,” e.g., “I am enough,” or I am kind and beautiful.”
#3. Don’t use Negations
Our subconscious mind does not understand negative terms like not, won’t, don’t, or can’t.
So, if you want to stop eating junk food and you say something like, “I’m not going to consume junk food.” Your subconscious mind will interpret your statement as “I am going to consume junk food” because it will not recognize the word “not.” And that’s the total opposite of what you’re aiming for.
Hence, you must frame all of your affirmations positively. So, rather than saying, “I’m not going to consume junk food,” you may say, “I nourish my body with healthy food.”
Another bonus tip to make it even more effective is to add a reason to your affirmation, such as “I nourish my body with healthy food because my body deserves respect and care.”
#4. Create Positive self-loving affirmations that really resonate with you
Avoid stock affirmations
Don’t get me wrong: it’s perfectly fine to use an affirmation you saw online that really spoke to you. It’s something I do all the time! Especially now, when everyone can find affirmations everywhere. Nonetheless, it will be more powerful and successful if you create it yourself and personalize it to your personal situation.
Let’s say you’ve been feeling down recently because you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything that’s going on right now. You might create an affirmation along the lines of:
“My family and I are all healthy, and this too shall pass.”
This affirmation serves as a gentle reminder that the most important thing is that you and your loved ones are healthy and that everything else is secondary.
#5. Make it brief, specific and keep it real
As we mentioned in the previous paragraph, affirmations are more effective when they are precise and focused on areas you want to improve. Change is always possible, but specific changes occur more efficiently than others. Affirmations cannot cause a change in every situation, especially if they focus on an idea that you do not believe to be true. As previously stated, affirmations are not magical, and you must do your part for them to be successful.
If you’re trying to lose weight, using a positive body affirmation might motivate you to start exercising. Still, if you don’t change anything you’re currently doing, you will not magically become thin.
Also, try to create a specific affirmation that you really believe could become true. So, instead of saying “I love my body,” which is very broad. Try to make it more specific and say something like:
“I am grateful for my body and what it does every day. I nourish my body with daily exercise and nutritious food.”
Statements like these will help you increase your motivation to stay healthy and believe you can be a fit person.
Another example could be instead of a broad affirmation like “I love myself,” try saying:
“I choose to be kind to myself and love myself unconditionally.”
#6. Embody the affirmation
To make the affirmations even more effective, you need to put as much heart and emotion as possible and say it as if you really believe it, with as much feeling and belief as you can muster.
Furthermore, visualize or imagine whatever you’re affirming when you say it – What does it sound like? What does it look like? How do you feel?
These basic techniques convert the affirmation from a cognitive practice to one that includes the heart and body. With this in mind, you will begin to go beyond your thoughts and shift your subconscious beliefs. Above all, you would slowly start to experience and embody the affirmations while strengthening your self-belief & self-confidence.
#7. Practice affirming yourself every day
And finally, to get the most benefit from positive self-loving affirmations, you’ll want to start a regular practice and make it a habit.
- To begin with, start by selecting two to three positive self loving affirmations that resonate with you. Feel free to choose from the list below if any of them resonate with you.
- Next, decide if you’re going to write them down, say them out loud, or repeat them in your mind.
- Finally, decide at what time you’re going to practice them during the day.
How many times a day should you repeat affirmations?
According to psychotherapist Ronald Alexander of the Open Mind Training Institute, one can repeat affirmations three to five times daily to strengthen a positive belief. He recommends writing your affirmations in a journal and practicing them in front of the mirror to make them more impactful and effective.
I would suggest writing them down as soon as you wake up in the morning, perhaps after a meditation. Later in the evening, before you sleep, close your eyes and repeat them while you’re visualizing and embodying them until you fall asleep. This way, you will start and end your day with positive thoughts. As a result, these positive self-loving affirmations will be ingrained in your mind and become part of your reality over time.
The crucial point to remember is to choose only 2 or 3 so that you don’t have to go through a list of affirmations every day. Hence, only pick a few that resonate with you and motivate you to keep going.
Also, be patient. Before you notice any changes, it may take some time, so stick with your practice!
Affirmations will help you shift your limiting beliefs into positive thoughts and ultimately help you shift your perspective of life into a more positive one.
- Set them in the present tense.
- When possible, start with the words “I am.”
- Always make them positive.
- Personalize them and make them meaningful to you.
- Make them brief and specific.
- Embody the affirmations.
- Repeat them every day.
List of 60 self-loving affirmations for women
Here are some examples of daily positive affirmations for women you can choose from. Choose what resonates with you and applies to your scenario, or simply create your own!
Affirmations for Money
- I am a money magnet.
- Money flows into my life from all directions.
- Money and spirituality can co-exist in harmony.
- Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.
- I love money, and money loves me.
- Being wealthy allows me to live the life I want to live.
- My actions create constant prosperity.
- I deserve everything I desire.
- I am open to receiving all the wealth life has to offer me.
Affirmations for Love
- I am full of positive, loving energy.
- My relationships grow stronger every day.
- The people in my life love and support me.
- I am in a caring and supportive relationship.
- I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.
- All the love I give out comes back to be threefold.
- Just because someone didn’t recognize my worth does not mean that I will not find love again.
- I am ready for a healthy, long, lasting relationship.
- I deserve to experience real true romance.
- The more I love myself, the more I receive unconditional love from others.
- I am comfortable with being alone.
Daily affirmations for self-love
- I possess the qualities needed to be highly successful.
- I do not need to compare myself to others. I am beautiful as I am.
- I am capable of achieving my goals and living out my dreams.
- I choose to be happy and to love myself today.
- Every female body is unique and beautiful on its own way.
- I choose to be kind to myself and love myself unconditionally.
- I am creating the life of my dreams.
- I am a powerful badass.
- Every day I embody the best version of myself.
- I forgive myself and set myself free.
- I believe I can be all that I want to be.
- I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself.
- I have the freedom & power to create the life I desire.
Affirmations for women’s health
- My body is getting stronger and healthier every day.
- My body is full of energy and strength.
- I am grateful for my body and for all it does for me.
- Health, vibrant energy flows through my body, mind, and soul.
- Every day is an opportunity to enjoy new levels of energy and wellbeing.
- It comes naturally to me to feel good and healthy.
- My body grows stronger every day.
- I nourish my body with healthy choices.
- I am grateful to be alive. It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day.
- I wake each morning with a smile.
- I am capable of overcoming anything.
- Happiness is my birthright. I choose to be happy, and I deserve to be happy.
- Being happy comes easy to me. Happiness is my second nature.
- Good things are happening.
- I am deeply fulfilled by what I do.
- I will not worry about things I cannot control.
Affirmations for self worth
- I allow creativity to flow through me with ease.
- I constantly attract opportunities that create more abundance.
- I am successful in everything I do.
- I am enough.
- I am successful in everything I try to accomplish.
- I am beautiful just the way I am.
- I love myself more and more each day.
- I am worthy of success.
- I am valuable and don’t need any external validation.
- I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
Thus, in summary, the easiest way to begin using positive affirmations is to analyze what beliefs and thoughts you need to shift, pick 2-3 affirmations that resonate with you, and repeat them daily, as many times as you can.
Daily positive affirmations are a perfect way to start reframing your thinking patterns, transitioning into positive thinking, as well as gradually shifting your perspective of life.
You will never have the power over what happened in the past, but you may impact the present and the future.
Hence, you have the opportunity to choose your perception and actions in this moment and the future, which will influence your brain.
I get it; at first, affirmations can seem to be impractical “pure fantasy.” But consider self-loving affirmations in this way: most of us perform repetitive workouts to enhance our physical fitness; affirmations are repetitive exercises to strengthen our minds.
As a result, self-loving affirmations have the potential to rewire your thinking pattern. Therefore, you may start thinking and behaving differently with time and repetition.
As we said, your thoughts are like filters, allowing you to see the world through different lenses.
So, it’s really just a matter of being mindful of and modifying your inner voice.
You already speak to yourself all the time. So, why not put this to good use?