self discovery

Why is Self Discovery So Important For A Happy Life?

Why is self discovery so important? 

Self-discovery allows us to get to know ourselves better and to understand the things that make us happy and those that don’t. By taking the time to discover who we are, we open up the possibility of creating a more fulfilling life for ourselves.

So, if you’re looking for ways to feel happier and connect with your inner self, keep reading. We’ve got some tips that will help you transform your life for the better! In this article, we’ll cover why is self discovery so important, why we might find it hard to get to know ourselves, and how we can stay motivated when it feels like we’re not making any progress. 

why is self discovery so important?

How has self-discovery helped me change my life?

The short version:

I was in my 30s, living a life that didn’t feel like mine. Feeling lost, alone, confused, and unsure about everything. I couldn’t make decisions and was always uncertain about everything. 

For years, I went through the motions of life without really living it. I simply existed in a space that didn’t feel like it belonged to me.

I was doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing – married, having a secure job (which I disliked), got a Master’s Degree (which I didn’t want to use because I didn’t want to work a 9 to 5 job anymore), and having a nice home.

But it all felt like comfort rather than anything else. It was like I was sleepwalking through life, going through the motions but not really feeling alive.

It sounds dramatic now, but at the time, it felt like everyone around me had their lives figured out, and I was just flailing around in the dark, desperately searching for some sort of guidance. I was always searching for an external source of validation, be it from my husband, family, friends, or even Google. It’s like any reply was superior to mine.

How did I manage to turn things around?

Thankfully, I woke up before it was too late. I’m not quite sure when or how it happened, but at some point, I realized that I needed to make a change. I couldn’t keep living my life like this.

It wasn’t sustainable, and it wasn’t making me happy. I realized that if I didn’t make some changes, I would end up wasting my life away in a space that didn’t make me happy. 

That is when I started investing in myself and hired my first mentor. The first thing I told her was that I thought something was wrong with me because I was feeling so lost, confused, and uncertain about everything. And do you know what she said in response?

It was understandable that I felt this way because I didn’t know who I was.

That was eye-opening for me. I realized I was going through life on autopilot. I didn’t even stop to think about where my life was going, my beliefs, and how they were holding me back. Or what things or people were no longer serving me.

That is when my self-discovery journey began. I started evaluating my life and gained a better understanding of myself. and recognized what was holding me back and what needed to change. And that’s when things began to improve in my life. 


I decided to resign from my job, set some healthy boundaries around my family, and start leaning more into a life that made me feel alive. I started this blog and am enjoying the freedom that it provides (currently writing this blog from Bali in front of our pool). It was a scary step, but it was the start of a new beginning.

The thing is that, as women, we are constantly expected to have our sh*t together. And if we don’t by a certain age, then something is wrong with us. But is that really the case?

In my opinion, self-discovery is one of the most important things in life, and it’s something that should be done at every stage of your journey. Whether you’re in your 20s or your 70s, it’s never too late to learn more about yourself and figure out what makes you happy.

So if you’re feeling lost right now, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Just take some time for reflection and allow yourself to explore all the different facets of your personality.

who am I - self discovery
Who am I?

What Is Self Discovery?

So, what is self-discovery?

Tony Robbins said:

The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday”. 

But what if you’re not even sure who that person is?

So many of us go through life without ever questioning who we are or what we want from it. We allow our upbringing, peers, and society to dictate our choices and shape us into people who aren’t always true to ourselves.

It’s no wonder so many people end up feeling lost and unfulfilled. 

The good news is that it’s never too late to discover who you really are. It may not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it. 

Self-discovery begins with a simple question: 

Who Am I? 

From there, it’s about exploring all aspects of your life and taking an honest look at yourself.

Self-Discovery is the key to everything. It is the tool that will help you understand:

  • Your likes and dislikes.
  • Who are you?
  • What are your values and principles?
  • Why do you do the things you do (or don’t do)?
  • How you interact with others.
  • The real reason why you’re sabotaging yourself and your desires.
  • How you want to live your life, etc.

Don’t get me wrong; self-discovery doesn’t happen overnight – it takes time, effort, and courage. And sure, it can be tough to face up to the things you don’t want to see about yourself, but believe me, it’s worth it!

know thyself - Socrates about self discovery

Why Is Self Discovery So Important?

The phrase “know thyself” has been around for centuries and is still relevant today. Why? Because it’s a reminder that we need to be aware of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in order to live our best lives.

Why does Socrates say that “an unexamined life is not worth living”? 

Indeed, there are many things worth living for, even if we don’t know ourselves. But according to Socrates, those things are not really worth living for because they are not based on a proper understanding of who we are. 

That is why self-discovery has been framed as quite literally the meaning of life. 

Let’s be honest with ourselves:

  • How many of us can truly say we know who we are?
  • And how can we truly know what will make us happy and that we’re pursuing the right goals if we don’t know ourselves?

The truth is that the majority of us go through life making assumptions about ourselves based on our past experiences and the expectations of those around us.

But what if these assumptions are actually holding us back from discovering our true potential? 

Unfortunately, many people live their lives in this manner. As a result, they miss out on many opportunities because they do not take the time to get to know themselves

So, to truly appreciate the value of self-discovery, we must first comprehend the repercussions of failing to recognize our true selves.

why is self discovery so important?

What happens if you don’t know yourself?

Not knowing yourself can feel a bit like being in a dark room – you can’t see where you’re going or what’s around you; you’re always feeling lost!

When you don’t know who you are, you’re unhappy, and you know you want more out of life, but you don’t know where to go or how to get there. Not knowing what to do can be extremely frustrating and lead to a great deal of unhappiness.

This can make it difficult to commit to anything since you’re not sure if it’s really what you want. It can also make it hard to make long-term decisions since you’re not sure what will make you happy in the future.

Basically, not knowing yourself can leave you feeling stuck and unsure of what to do next. Believe me; I’ve experienced this firsthand. I’d had this feeling my entire life.

Without self-discovery, all sorts of problems can occur. Here are some of the consequences of failing to recognize our true selves:


If we don’t know what we want in life, we’ll probably end up in a job that we hate. Feeling stuck in a rut and can’t move forward. That can lead to frustration, low self-esteem, and even depression.


Because we don’t understand our own needs, we choose the wrong partners and try to get together with people who don’t really suit us. That often leads to failed relationships and a lot of heartaches.


If we don’t know who we are, we may have trouble making friends. We may find ourselves drawn to people who are not good for us and push away those who care about us. That can lead to a feeling of isolation and loneliness.


One of the consequences of not knowing yourself is overspending and having financial problems. If you don’t know what your passions are, it’s easy to get caught up in buying things that you think will make you happy. But if those things don’t align with your true passions, they’ll only end up costing you money and causing financial stress.


If we don’t know ourselves, we may be more likely to make unhealthy choices. We may not realize that we’re doing harmful things to our bodies and minds, which can lead to serious health problems down the road.

Socrates understood the importance of self-discovery, and so should we! By examining our thoughts and feelings, we can start to see the world in a new light. And by challenging our assumptions and beliefs, we can begin to understand ourselves better.

>>Read more: Here are the 10 most Powerful Benefits Of Self Discovery

The Process Of Self-Discovery (the short version)

There are many different paths to personal discovery, and each one has its own benefits and can look different for everyone.

For me, self-discovery has been a combination of introspection, which is self-examination, and extrospection, which is examining the world outside oneself.

With regards to introspection, this can be done by focusing on your inner thoughts and emotions and observing how you react to them. This can be accomplished through journaling, meditation, visualization, or simply taking the time to observe, become aware, and reflect.

On the other hand, extrospection can be done by examining our external environment in order to gain new insights and understanding. Through extrospection, we are able to uncover hidden aspects of ourselves as well as other people and situations. One way you can accomplish this is by traveling.

>> Read more: The Self Discovery Process That Will Change Your Life

To travel is to take a journey into yourself – Danny Kaye

How does travel help me in my journey to self-discovery?

Travel is definitely a powerful tool for my personal discovery. Every time I explore a new place, I find out more about myself, what I like and don’t like, and my strengths and weaknesses.

Being immersed in new surroundings always inspires reflection and challenges my perspective. When I’m in a new environment, I’m better able to recognize my own reactions to those experiences and how they influence my future decisions.

Also, another benefit is that travel forces me to step out of my comfort zone regularly, which has helped me grow in confidence as a person. It has also given me a better understanding of other cultures and how to adapt to new environments.

These things have contributed to my personal growth and development, and I am grateful for the opportunities that travel has given me.

Self-Discovery is a Journey, Not a Destination!

Which one is the best approach?

I think that that is very personal.

Personally, I continue to make discoveries about myself through both processes that ultimately fuel my curiosity and desire for more knowledge and growth. I believe that these two approaches are complementary and that using them together helps you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.

So it’s entirely up to you how you want to go about it.

You could decide to travel to new places or simply take the time to reflect on your life and goals through introspection, self-reflection, counseling, or journaling. Another way is to meditate or practice mindfulness. This will help you focus on your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

Self-discovery is both a journey and an ongoing process that can enrich our lives immeasurably if we approach it with an open mind and a willingness to explore beyond our comfort zones.

So, I think that it’s essential to find what works best for you and go at your own pace. Remember that the best way to start on a new journey is always by taking things one step at a time. Rather than tackling everything at once, focus on small goals that will help you build momentum and begin to discover your true potential.

There’s no rush in discovering who you are and who you want to become. So take your time, explore different options, and listen to your heart. It’ll guide you to where you need to go. With some dedication and perseverance, it won’t be long before you find yourself transformed in ways that you never even imagined possible.

The important thing to remember is that self-discovery is a journey, not a destination. There is always something new to discover about ourselves and our place in the world.

Thus, if you’re stuck in a rut and don’t know where to start, start with yourself. It’s the best investment you’ll ever make!

journaling can help in the self discovery journey

>>Read more: The Best Journal Prompts for Self Growth

7 Reasons Why We Might Find It Hard To Get To Know Ourselves

Self-discovery is a lifelong process, and that is one of the major reasons why it is so difficult to do. People simply don’t persist in peeling off the old layers of self and finding who they truly are.

But it’s not just about finding out who you are or what your purpose in life is; it’s also about becoming aware of how you got where you are today and why you have certain beliefs, attitudes, opinions, etc. 

Some of the challenges we might face along the way include:

#1 We Are Constantly Changing.

We are constantly changing and evolving. As we grow and experience new things, our values, beliefs, and goals change. That can make it challenging to get to know ourselves because we are never quite the same person from one day to the next.

#2 We Have Multiple Facets To Our Personality.

Everyone has multiple facets to their personality. We may be shy and introverted in some situations and extroverted and outgoing in others. We may be serious and thoughtful one minute and silly and carefree the next. That can make it hard to get a sense of who we really are.

#3 Fear Of Failure.

Many of us have a fear of failure. It’s ironic, isn’t it? We’re afraid to fail, so we don’t try new things and instead just stay in our comfort zones. But by not trying new things, we’re limiting our ability to learn more about ourselves.

It’s a vicious cycle, really. We don’t want to fail, so we don’t try anything new, but then we never get to know ourselves because we’re always playing it safe. So how do we break out of this cycle? We can start by realizing that failure is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s often only through failing that we learn anything at all. After all, if you never fall down, you’ll never know how to get back up again.

#4 We try to fit into the image that others have of us.

We may find it difficult to get to know ourselves because we try to fit into the mold of who we think others want us to be. This can make getting to know yourself difficult because we are not being true to ourselves.

When we pretend to be someone we are not, we not only do ourselves a disservice but also prevent others from getting to know the real us. So, if you’re having trouble getting to know yourself, consider whether you’re truly being yourself around others. You probably aren’t, which is why it’s so difficult. But, once you start being authentic, you might be surprised at how much easier it is to get to know yourself and how much better you feel in the process.

#5 Fear Of Change.

Change can be scary. We may resist change because we are comfortable with the way things are, even if they are not ideal. But if we want to grow and develop as individuals, we need to be open to change.

#6 Much Of What We Do Is Unconscious.

A lot of what we do is unconscious. That can make it harder to get to know ourselves because we are not always aware of our thoughts and actions.

For example, you might not be aware of how you react in a conflict until you stop and think about it. Or you might not be aware of how you tend to procrastinate until you start paying attention to it.

By paying attention to our thoughts and actions, we can start to understand better who we are. Additionally, we can learn more about ourselves by talking to others and getting feedback.

#7 Holding Onto Our Past.

It can be hard to get to know ourselves if we’re holding onto our past. We may dwell on our past mistakes or on things that have happened to us. That can make it hard to move forward and get to know ourselves.

We may not even realize that we’re doing it, but holding onto our past can prevent us from getting to know ourselves. If we’re constantly dwelling on what’s happened, we’re not able to focus on the present. And if we’re not living in the present, it’s difficult to get to know who we are.

There’s nothing wrong with reflecting on our past and learning from it. But if we’re letting it control our lives, it can be a problem. We need to be able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and move on. Otherwise, we’ll always be defined by our past, and we’ll never be able to get to know ourselves.

If you’re finding it hard to get to know yourself, try letting go of your past.

Without knowing ourselves, we are like blindfolded passengers on a ship, clueless about where we are going or why. 
Without knowing ourselves, we are like blindfolded passengers on a ship, clueless about where we are going or why. 

Self-discovery is all about learning more about yourself, and it’s an integral part of personal development. If you don’t know yourself, it can be challenging to determine who you are and what you want out of life. Without knowing ourselves, we are like blindfolded passengers on a ship, clueless about where we are going or why.

Without self-discovery, we can quickly become lost along the way. We may not even realize why we’re dissatisfied with our lives. Self-discovery can help us avoid these pitfalls and instead find a path suited for us.

Only through getting to know ourselves can we hope to achieve happiness and fulfillment in life.

>>Read more: Future Self Visualization: How to Use This Technique to Create the Life You Want

Is It Considered Selfish To Pursue Self-Discovery?

In my opinion, every person will benefit from embarking on this journey of self-discovery. 


Let’s take a look.

– Self-Discovery Can Lead To A Greater Sense Of Fulfillment.

When we get to know ourselves better, we often become more satisfied with who we are. We start to feel more confident and content in our own skin. As a result, we may be more likely to pursue our goals and dreams. When we feel fulfilled, we are more likely to treat ourselves and others with kindness and respect.

– Self-Discovery Can Help Us Build Stronger Relationships.

Pursuing self-discovery can help us understand our relationship patterns. We may start to see why we are attracted to certain types of people or why we keep having the same arguments with our partner. With this knowledge, we can make changes to improve our relationships. We may also become better at communicating our needs and setting boundaries.

– Self-Discovery Can Lead To A More Positive Outlook On Life.

When we take the time to get to know ourselves, we may discover that we have more to be grateful for than we realized. When we’re grateful, we start to see the beauty in life’s imperfections.

We may also become more hopeful about the future and our ability to achieve our goals. And when we’re hopeful, we become happier, and so the people around us will also be happier because of the good vibes we give off.

when we know ourselves people around us will also be happier
Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

So, Is It Selfish To Pursue Self-Discovery? 

No, not at all! 

To be the best partner, parent, or friend we can be, we must first understand ourselves and what we have to offer.

So it’s not only not selfish, but it’s also one of the most selfless things you can do. By embarking on this journey, you will not only improve your own life, but you will also have a positive impact on those around you.

It's not about the destination... it's about the Journey!
It’s not about the destination… it’s about the Journey!

How Can you Stay Motivated When It Feels Like you’re Not Making Any Progress?

The old adage tells us that it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey. But what if the journey feels like it’s going nowhere?

When you’re in a self-discovery process, it can often feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You may not be sure what you’re looking for or how to find it. You may start to doubt yourself, wondering if you’re ever going to figure this all out.

The key is to stay motivated even when it feels like you’re not making any progress.

Here Are A Few Ways To Do That:

– Remember that progress is rarely linear

First, remember that progress is rarely linear. You may have moments of intense clarity followed by periods of confusion. That’s normal! Just because you hit a few roadblocks doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.

– Set small, achievable goals.

One of the quickest ways to feel like you’re not making any progress is setting unrealistic goals. If you’re trying to accomplish too much too quickly, it’s only natural that you’ll start to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Instead, break down your goals into smaller, more manageable pieces. That way, you can celebrate each accomplishment and keep your motivation high.

– Keep a positive attitude.

It’s easy to get caught up in self-doubt when you feel like you’re not making any progress. But it’s important to remember that setbacks are a normal part of our life’s journey. Rather than getting discouraged, try to maintain a positive attitude. No matter how small, every step you take brings you closer to your goal.

– Find a role model.

When you’re feeling lost, it can be helpful to look to someone who has already been through the self-discovery process. Seeing how others have overcome similar challenges can motivate and inspire you to keep going.

– Seek out support.

Going through a self-discovery process can be a lonely experience. But it doesn’t have to be. There are many people who are willing to offer support and guidance. Whether it’s a friend, family member, therapist, or self-help group, reaching out for help can make all the difference.

– Be patient with yourself.

Self-discovery is a process, and it takes time. There will be ups and downs, but you will eventually find what you’re looking for as long as you stay focused and dedicated.

The most important thing to remember is that self-discovery is a lifelong journey, and there is no wrong or right way to do it. As long as we are open to growth and learning, we will continue to move forward. 

know yoursel
Who are you?

Final Thoughts – why is self Discovery so important?

Self-discovery is one of the most important things we can do in our lives. It allows us to figure out who we are, what we want, and how we can get there. It helps us grow, find our purpose in life, and make the most of our time here. 

When we know ourselves better, we can set goals and achieve them with greater ease. We also become more content and fulfilled in life because we are living our authentic lives. Also, when you know and accept yourself, you stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, you focus on your own journey and what makes you happy.

Without self-discovery, we may go through life without ever recognizing our true talents and passions. As a result, we may miss out on opportunities to pursue careers that would make us truly happy. We may also struggle to form deep and meaningful relationships because we are not honest about who we are with others. Worse still, we may end up living a life that is not our own – a life that the expectations of others have dictated.

So, if you’re feeling lost, stuck in a rut, and uncertain about your future, take some time for self-discovery. The results may surprise you! The journey of self-discovery is a challenging but rewarding one. With time, courage, and perseverance, you can overcome any obstacle in your way. And when you finally find yourself, you’ll be glad you made the journey. It just might be the best thing you ever do for yourself! Thanks for reading!

What did you take away from this article? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

>>Read more: The Self Discovery Process That Will Change Your Life

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